Dallas, my picky eater, likes pretzels. So I buy a big box of soft pretzels and put one in his lunch everyday. Today he came home from school and wanted another pretzel for a snack, so I made him one. And now I'm sitting here feeling all pretzely. Tied in knots that is. For a few reasons.
First, I did Jillian Michael's 30 day shred workout DVD yesterday, and let me tell you, my body is feeling it today. Going down stairs, and sitting down in chairs is ridiculously painful. But it's a good reminder of how out of shape I am, and how I'm trying my best to repent. I haven't exercised yet today, but after the kids go to bed you can guess what I'll be doing. I figure I'll give the DVD thirty days and assume I'll look like Jillian in 31, right about the time I turn 31.
The second reason I'm feeling all tied in knots is our pending move. Today we've been doing a lot of things to finalize the purchase of our new house. This is making everything all too real for me. We have basically been talking about this move for the last few years now, and it has always been this distant future dream of ours, which is now becoming way too tangible, too real, too here and now. I'm feeling very mixed emotions about this move. On the one hand it's a great opportunity for my husband and our family's future. It's what we've sacrificed and worked so hard for. We are moving to a place where the majority of our family lives, we are excited about the home we're buying, and hopeful for a happy life there. On the other hand I'm really happy here, my kids are happy here, and we have great friends and neighbors and it doesn't snow here.
Seriously I'm starting to notice some physical side effects from the reality of all this. I feel sick to my stomach, I keep holding my own hand for reassurance, and I could cry and lose it at any point. But I'm trying to keep it together and not think about it too much, because if I did, I don't know if I could handle it all.
I might just go drown my emotions in a big soft pretzel.