Sunday, October 12, 2008
Happy Birthday Little Peanut
I've been having a rough week because I've been strangely sad that Hallie's birthday was coming. I've been excited for her, and for planning a fun party for her. But was surprised to find myself so sad that my baby would be turning five today. Hallie was born five years ago today, on a Sunday morning. On that morning I woke up early and decided I was quite possibly having contractions (It didn't happen that way with Dallas so I was a little unsure). The contractions weren't anything that hurt, just a tightening of my abdomen every twenty minutes or so. I decided that I wanted to be sure I was ready to go to the hospital, so I got up, got showered and ready. Travis was starting to wonder what was going on as it was quite unusual for me to get in the shower at 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning. I told him I thought I was having contractions, so to go back to bed. I don't think he did. I finished getting ready, packed my hospital bag, and tried to clean the house. I made Travis mop the kitchen floor. He still thinks it is so strange that I was concerned about the kitchen floor when I was in labor, but I wanted everything to be in order for our return home with our new arrival.
I remember being very concerned about Dallas. He was only 16 months old, and we'd never left him overnight. I felt so sad for him that I couldn't explain to him the change that was about to occur in his life. He was still my baby and here I was about to bring home another one. But I didn't have much of a say in the matter as Hallie was quickly on her way. So we packed Dallas off with the Cannons, and headed to the hospital. I was having contractions five minutes apart at this time but still wasn't in much pain. When Dallas came everything happened so fast that I didn't have time to eat breakfast, so this time I made Travis stop at QT and get me some milk and chocolate donuts. Healthy, I know, but most contracting women aren't very rational. By the time we pulled into the hospital parking lot though the contractions had stopped and I was afraid to go in because I thought they were gong to send me home. I didn't want to take my stuff in with me because I thought it would be embarrassing when they sent us back, but Travis didn't want to have to come back to the car for it, so he lugged it in.
When we got there I explained the situation and they hooked me up to a monitor to time my contractions. Problem was the contractions weren't showing up, so she decided to check me before sending me home, and found that I was dilated to a six. I was surprised because I remember being in a lot of pain with Dallas when dilated to a four, but wasn't exactly feeling pain yet at a six. So they quickly got us to a labor room and called the anesthesiologist for an epidural. I felt kind of guilty about this in a strange way because I still wasn't in any pain. But they gave it to me, and soon after Hallie arrived. Travis had been watching the Broncos game on TV and kept on joking with the nurses that it would be nice if they could get Hallie there during half time. And sure enough she came within the 15 minute half time. We were both laughing when they handed her to me because the experience was so pain free, and here was this teeny little baby girl. She was only 5 lbs. 6 oz. and the nickname peanut came to be within hours of her arrival. The sad thing about having Hallie on a Sunday was that everyone was at church when she came, and there was no one to share the exciting news with. But we were excited, and couldn't have been happier about the whole experience. My only worry was poor Dallas who was probably feeling abandoned, so we stayed the night and left as soon as we could the next day.
And here we are five years later. I remember this all like it was yesterday. I loved President Monson's talk last Sunday about Finding Joy in the Journey. I found myself feeling sad when he said this: "If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.” A big part of me aches for my little peanut and my Monkey boy. I love where my kids are at now, but I miss the babies they were. We don't seem to be having any more anytime soon, and this doesn't make it any easier for me. But I'm trying to do what President Monson said when he said this: “This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.”
So with President Monson's counsel in mind we had a wonderful birthday party celebrating Hallie's fifth birthday. I can't even imagine my life without my little girl. Hallie brings our family a lot of joy and laughter. We wouldn't be complete without her. I think she had a great time at her party, and her friends did too. Next year though I think I might take a break from playing Martha Stewart and let Peter Piper Pizza plan the whole thing. I forget how much work a party is! But it was well worth it for Hallie.